Had premarital sex

by Abel
( U.K. )

Just found out that the assistant pastor had premarital sex with his wife. What do I do please help.

Comments for Had premarital sex

Click here to add your own comments

Chief of Sinners
by: Pastor Dan

Keeping in mind that I do not have full context of the situation, I am a pastor, my wife and I had premarital sex, and I believe I am fit to serve.

That being said, it is important to clarify that there are three major reasons that I feel my situation is justified.

First - Premarital sin does not discount pastoral service. The Apostle Paul would be my case in point, although I could cite others. Paul called himself "The Chief of Sinners" (1 Tim. 1:15) because of his actions before his calling. Namely, he counted himself among those who were killing Christians. The point is that God uses the worst people to show His incredible change. Keyword "change."

Second - I do not defend my actions as acceptable. In fact, I regret them completely as someone who now understands my sin. I would also not commit this sin now. This is because I have received the changing power of Jesus Christ.

Third - I did not commit that sin as a pastor. Had I done so, I would question my calling, or at least step down for a time as I would obviously not have my house in order (1 Tim. 3:4).

If these circumstances are different from your pastor's, you may want to have a conversation with his superior so that he may be held accountable. Pastors are required to live "above reproach" (1 Tim. 3:2) and although that doesn't mean perfect, I would argue that premarital sex is a clear violation of that requirement.

Once you have presented that case to the Senior Pastor, trust him to do his job and rest assured that you have done your part. Don't ask more questions, spread more gossip or judge the Associate.

Hope this helps!

Reply to some advice
by: Anonymous

Why would you do anything? Probably the best advice would be to not spread any gossip.

Why do anything?
by: Kelly

Your situation begs a question; why do anything? How was this information brought to your attention? Is it reliable? Is it gossip or hearsay? My advice to you is this; you do nothing. This is not an issue that needs to be addressed. Why do I say this? The answer is that we have all sinned and fallen short of God's glory. None of us are perfect. We have all done things we regret. Fortunately for us, God's grace and mercy covers a multitude of sins, including premarital sex. If the couple is now married, which they apparently are, and have sought God's forgiveness, then leave this between them and God. Recall Jesus' words, "Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."

I pray everyone can move forward and this past sin brings no harm to the congregation.

Peace,

Kelly

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Pastor's Forum.

Recent Articles

  1. Struggling for sermon ideas...

    Oct 15, 17 03:32 PM

    What to do when you seem to be struggling for sermon ideas? I seem to be going through a dry season in which it is difficult to get a handle on what God

    Read More

  2. Burned out & feeling abandoned

    Oct 15, 17 03:30 PM

    To start with, I know that writing this won’t change the situation. I think that the reason that I did was to ask for your prayers… I’m not really

    Read More

  3. Empty

    Oct 08, 17 03:12 PM

    37 years continuously as a pastor and right now I feel like the biggest failure in the world. I am so depressed that I cannot write about it. God help

    Read More