I am on leave from my pastorate after enduring a number of extreme panic attacks in my last days "on the job." In my denomination, it is a requirement for me to remain connected to a church (not one I ever pastored) in order to keep my ordination status. I have made it clear to the ministers in this church and to superiors in my denomination that my family and I are struggling terrible -- financial issues, severe psychiatric issues, stress, depression, etc. -- but we have yet to receive one phone call or visit since the week 10 months ago that I left my pastorate. I receive no disability. My depression has spiraled more and more out of control, and I feel worse now and less connected to everything than I did 10 months ago.
I have been in therapy and taking meds. Nothing I have seen has helped me find a path that looks like it leads to hope. I can't do anything now but expect to be lonely and sad and suffering forever.
Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Pastor Burnout Stories.