how to be happy again?

by George
(california)

Im at my first church. I've been here a little over 5 years. From the start I had problems. And they have kept coming ever since. Problems from staff causing people to leave to staff having serious moral failures.

Then there are board members who are fighting for power and have been very hateful and argumentative very vocally..

I have been left to pick up the pieces time and time again.

My wife and I are stressed and depressed to the max! We have applied for other churches but nothing seems to work out...

It's as though we are not being let go to leave but staying at this church is just so unlikely with the magnitude of stress and pressure and discouragement. I don't know what to do.

I have prayed and sought God's direction for at least a year with no answer from him.
I
feel so abandoned and left alone..

Comments for how to be happy again?

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Ready To Leave, When Your ready to Stay
by: Anonymous

I just resigned as Youth Pastor from a toxic Church. So Sad, when you think about what Jesus died for and how he said people would know us by. (Love for one another)

I tried to leave about 3 months into my role as Youth Pastor. I cant stomach Toxic, un-ethical churches. But the lord told me "Your Not ready to leave until your ready to stay".

1 year later (now)I know and have peace about leaving.
See what the Lord meant when he told me that statement is "Until your willing to remain faithful to my call and your assignment, no matter what
un-godliness you are seeing, then your not ready to leave".

Why does he allow us to go through this? To build tenacity in the face of opposition.

Once he saw I was faithful and "ready to stay" no matter what. Then the Lord told me,

"Now you are ready to leave".

My Brother you stuck in there for a sufficient amount of time. I think you were "ready to leave"

Separate Emotionally or Separate...
by: Rev.Dr. Karl Galik

Indeed, toxic congregations seem to be more numerous than ever as status-quo practitioners defend systems long standing and long ago failing.
If you cannot separate yourselves emotionally, you must leave physically.

Emotional separation means understanding how stuck emotional systems work and cognitively avoiding the toxicity as much as possible - while prophetically pointing it out whenever possible. It also means finding a safe group of friends/family with whom you can release emotionally pent-up frustrations, find loving prayer support and even times for laughter...
If this is not to be found, physically separating yourself will be the next solution. Some who can't won't or don't do this find disease forcefully separating them.

The cliche, "live to fight another day" applies, although I would alter it to, "Live to minister another day!"
Godspeed,
Karl

Cannot Be Happy In Toxic Places
by: Anonymous

DEAR GEORGE:

I pastored in many toxic churches which had the same kind of infighting and viciousness you describe. These are poisonous environments. You just have to leave. My husband and I both have new jobs in the market place. WE love it. We pastored in 6 or more pastorates over 25 years and found pretty much what you describe. Just get other jobs. Even two minimum wage jobs. Anything is better than these toxic and poisonous churches. Unfortunately , there are tons of them out there. Just resign and leave. It will be hard but you will get over it. Over time you will reconnect and heal with your own heart, and soul and wife and home and family. I assure you, it will be the healthiest thing you ever did. Blessings. Lizzy+

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