I'm Lonely

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I'm Lonely

I'm finding that ministry is generally pursued in isolation. I have to admit that I do at times feel like I'm in competition with other area churches and their pastors. I compare myself and my congregation to others. But why?

Does ministry have to be so lonely? Do I really have to labor with no one else to encourage and support me? Can't we as pastors find ways to support each other?

Does anyone else struggle with loneliness?

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I'm Lonely

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Dear Lonely
by: Anonymous

Dear Lonely,

I pastored for 25 years, retired, am 53 and still lonely. Pastoring is the loneliest profession I have ever known with little to no support. I suggest you talk to your family. I think the loneliness comes from believing you have to have the answers for everyone else's life, state them succinctly, with SCriptural references, while the questions to your own life, remain non-existent, un challenged, and unanswered. You "parrot" answers to others, because that is what you have been taught/learned and this feels unsatisfying because you know life is not that neat and cannot fit into little Scripture verses. Many of life's questions, big and small remain unanswered. you are afraid to admit that. You feel like a phony/hypocrite giving everyone else 'the answers" complete with bible commentary while inside the isolation grows larger. That is because you are not attending to your own soul.You probably have no close friends or mentors. My advice? stop answering questions and start using the Socratic Method: answer a question with a question. for instance: when someone asks you, "why does a loving God permit so much suffering?" you can say, "why does a loving God permit so much suffering Ashley,?" "What do you think Ashley?" In this way, the question goes back to the one asking it. Or to the group. Then, you don't have to be the Bible Answer Man or Woman. You don't have to have all the answers. you don't have to ask all the questions. This might take some of the feelings of isolation away. Often, when you become the Bible Answer Man the feeling of being isolated increases as you once more step up on that soapbox above everyone else with all the answers. Get off the soapbox, climb down off the pedestal. Be like Jesus. He was one with the crowd. Sit in a circle all together as equals. Equality in Christianity means: I am just one in this circle. One equal voice. The loneliness comes from being on the pedestal. Being up above others with this "phony" persona you are forced to establish as "the leader." I have found much more wisdom in youth groups or groups of children than I ever found in seminary. These kids are more profound than adults. Stop being the Bible Answer Man and just enjoy these kids. Elizabeth+

The one man ministry
by: Steve

I am a pastor that works with youth at risk teen. I Sheppard over three facilities, doing chapel services, bible studies, personal care, etc. I have had volunteers occasionally but they never stick around too long.
I have around 85 youth to minister to and theirs one of me! I relate to the lonely part of ministry! Any suggestions to this one man ministry?

Try Barnabas Ministires
by: Cathy Gates (Renewingtheflame.com)

Isolation is a common problem for pastors. In fact about 70% of pastors don't have anyone that they can confide in. Barnabas Ministries based in New England helps pastors come together in small group communities as friends in order to decrease the isolation. They have groups in New England states, Florida and western Michigan that I am aware of. They may have more. Check out their web site at http://www.barnabasministriesinc.org/
Isolation is one of the risk factors for burnout so you are on the right track in trying to find a supportive community.

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I'm Lonely

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I'm Lonely