It is likely not you or you lack of ability, skill or dedication.
by Once a Chaplain
I served for 14 years as a military chaplain. Before that I did not serve a church but was a hospital chaplain. I did not really know what it was like to be a church pastor. I had a great military career. In my whole time, I always earned the very top evaluations and feedback. I felt very appreciated (well I did serve a base chaplain, and actually, in hindsight, that was very much like a church).
When I retired, I became a church pastor. I am going to retire very soon. I am very tired of it all. The 7/24 demands, the expectations, the politics, and the inability or desire to change.
I did not fully realize how good I had it as a military chaplain. Sure we had long and sometimes hard hours, often with family separation, but there was also reward, respect, good pay and benefits, and fun.
I see very little fun in church work, it is always a push for this coming event and then the next one. I make 1/2 of what I did before, work twice as hard, and receive 1/5th of the appreciation.
I note this as I was considered a top performer in all of my previous positions as a chaplain. If I did not have all those years to balance my perspective of my worth, ability, and skills, I would be very demotivated and somewhat doubting of my call.
For what it is worth, I think most of my peers are not broken but the church and expectations are.