My Lo Debar

by Beatrice

I was 40 when I finally accepted the call to 'do God's sales'. Prior to that I was doing corporate sales and one day, after a series of strange happenings that could only have been orchestrated by Him, I clearly heard Him say, "now, you are going to do My sales". And I dropped everything and followed Him.

It took six years to get my Bible and theology degree and I was excited to see where God would take me. But I soon had a rude awakening when it became apparent that my gender and societal status were working against me. Being a single woman in my late 40s, with no apparent prospects for marriage and with no children, soon seemed to do me more harm than good.

Whereas it had always made it easy for me to be involved in as many ministries within the church as I could find time for, now this seemed to suggest that I could not even be taken by the very church that helped pay for my tuition. In the interview panel, it was apparent that they thought I could be a distraction to the other single male pastors.

After a while I got an assignment with a different church to help them start a Sunday school, which we did successfully. But after a year I again tried out at an interview for position of children's pastor in another town.

This time the rejection was based on the suspicion of wondering why my mother church had not taken me in. Again I was left out as male counterparts with less qualifications and passion were considered. I knew they were making a terrible mistake but I walked away to what I call my Lo Debar-like Mephibosheth of 2 Samuel 9- my place of banishment; a little town, far from the city.

I felt broken, unwanted, rejected and still do. But I keep reminding myself that God is in the know. He knows me by address, assignment and name. And only He knows how He wanted me to do His sales.

Slowly I am picking up and starting a ministry for children's Saturday Bible club. It has not been easy but I am finally understanding that even in Lo Debar, there is a God who called me and who can also be found in this Lo Debar. Like Mephibosheth, I wait for the day of my appointment with the king.

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