Pastors Forum

Help and Be Helped

Our pastors forum is the place where pastors can anonymously ask questions and get feedback from other pastors. It's also the place where you - a pastor - can help others by giving your ideas and input on questions other pastors are asking.

Here are a few guidelines to keep in mind as you participate in the ministers forum.

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  • Keep in mind that I have to review each submission before it goes live. I learned the hard way that a few people submit things that are completely inappropriate. So please be patient while I look at your submission before it is posted. I will try to get to every submission within 48 hours.
  • Keep things anonymous. It's best that if you are talking about your church that others not be able to figure out which congregation you are talking about.
  • Please feel free to bare your soul. I am not gathering any personal information about you. You thoughts can remain completely confidential in this forum.
  • Don't use the opportunity to criticize your congregation.
  • Please don't use ALL CAPITAL LETTERS. It is difficult to read and looks like you are shouting.

Pastor Burnout Book

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Do you have a question or thought you'd like to share with other readers of this site? Once you submit your thought or question, I'll review it and give it a web page all its own. Then people will be able to comment or answer your question.

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Read Other People's Thoughts

Click below to see submissions from other visitors to this page...

Help with the church  
Hello everyone, for the sake of this discussion board I will of course not give my name and I would appreciate some valuable feedback. Currently I …

I feel alone 
Too tired to write. Just please pray for me and our church. I feel alone...I have no more tears, no more love, no more vision. If God doesn't need me anymore …

My number 1 challenge in ministry is? 
I would like and appreciate knowing what your number one challenge is in your ministry? I'm a retired pilot and a Pastor's assistant and I have a …

Practical preaching question: Is it wise to teach two different series at once 
Hi, I have a practical preaching question around the management of the pulpit. About the Church: Our church is a small one. We launch on August …

Loss of faith due to loss of loved one.  
First of all, I wanted to find a pastor forum to ask this because I thought 'surely, it's something most, if not all pastors come across!?' I've asked …

Do I expose my Pastor? 
Ok, So i'm going to be as fast and as blunt as possible. For the past year, I've worked as a part-time associate Pastor for a very very old traditional …

Staff member insubordination 
I'm the lead pastor at a small church of 60-70 people. It is a thriving, growing fellowship of believers. I'm joyful in basically all facets of this ministry, …

More Youth MInistry 
I've been working at a church as the Youth Pastor for almost 2 years now. Without making any accusations let's just say that this church definitely has …

constant conflict with co-pastor 
Recently, another pastor and I merged our churches. In our merger we agreed to a full equality in compensation and ministry with each having certain ministry …

Cowboy preacher who's wife wants to leave the marriage and the ministry 
How do I deal with a wife for 20 years who no longer loves her husband? We have been in the ministry for two years and she wants to leave me and the ministry. …

Now what? 
I have left a church that I had pastored for about a year and a half. Our family has found a Bibl-preaching church where the Word is taught, and the people …

Administrative Leave 
I have been deemed ineffective and my Elders orders are on suspension. I can not work in another field of ministry because my denomination will not endorse …

Poor leader 
Tonight may well have been my breaking point. I suppose that I'll know tomorrow. I have been in a support staff role taking on multiple responsibilities …

Finding it hard to forgive 
I am married to a pastor. He tells me I am the most precious thing in his life. We have a good family, great ministry and have been together for many …

No More Trust 
I have been a pastor and Itinerant speaker for twenty five years. My biggest challenge during that time was finances. Secondarily I married twice and am …

How do I cope with the pain and sadness? 
I dont know how to cope. So much pain and sorrow around me. Unforgiveness is rampant. Pain from peoples past. People wanting to destroy Our ministry.There …

IN PURSUIT OF MINISTRY FULFILMENT 
Hello! Its such a great joy to discover an online community like this where one can be helped. As a very highly motivated, ambitious and visionary …

What do you do when you are burned out 
I've been in ministry for over 16 years. Seven years as a senior pastor. Right now I'm in a point in my life where I'm sick of church folk, tired of continually …

Pastor's texts to other women 
I discovered some very strange text messages on my husband's phone. He is the pastor of a church and he texts a man in the church who is having an affair. …

Questions about sexuality 
I am a pastor of a small church and recently a young couple approached me with a question regarding sexuality. After being married for six years the wife …

Leaving...I'm done...but now what? 
I have been in worship/music ministry since college...almost 30 yrs ago. I have served on church staff for 20 of those years. My skin is not thick anymore, …

Part time pastor - am I really called for this? 
My wife and I have been leading a very successful children's ministry for the last 5 years. The ministry has grown to almost 1000 children that attend …

tough decision 
I have a ministry offer but it would require us moving and leaving our current ministry. I feel like my wife doesn't trust me to make the right decision. …

A Timid  
My burnout came to a head last week. I had been sinking under feelings of inadequacy and not measuring up since, well, even before going into ministry …

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What is a healthy form of pastoral evaluations? 
In the church I am currently serving (for the past 5 years), I have encountered a method of evaluation for the pastor that I have never seen or heard of …

Best way to spend a 3 month leave of absence? 
I am a Pastor experiencing burnout, but I have asked for a 3 month Leave of Absence before I completely fell apart. I know I need to do a fair amount …

Continuing the ministry 
About 5 months ago , I answered my call from God to start a church. I left my former church of 7 years and started preparing. In fact those were the words …

how to be happy again? 
Im at my first church. I've been here a little over 5 years. From the start I had problems. And they have kept coming ever since. Problems from staff causing …

Would God ever tell someone NOT to serve or NOT to lead? 
Would God ever tell someone NOT to serve or NOT to lead? I was asked by my pastor to become one of four deacons at our church. After prayer and careful …

Standards for Ministry Leaders 
I'm 36 and my wife is 32. About 2 years ago my wife and I (who were active in a big, lovely,mega church) discerned that God was telling us to go to the …

spiritual dryness 
I'm a pastor, a seminary student and a family man. I am felling dry right now. What could be the reason?

Is it a right time to move? 
I have pastored a church for up to 10 years now it's never grow up to 10 -15 members. Every time I think about it I get angry and embarrassed for all the …

Feeling lost and Inadequate 
Hi I'm really in need of spiritual support from fellow believers such as yourselves. I am an ordained 29 year old pastor. My church, The voices of Israel …

Visiting elderly who cannot hear 
i am struggling with how to be more effective in ministering to a few of the elderly people in my congregation who cannot hear very well. They don't know …

Re-branding the Gospel? 
Should the Church of the living God repackage the Gospel of Jesus Christ? If yes, where is the position of the Holy Spirit in directing and leading the …

Lay Pastor 
I've been called to serve the Lord in a small town. I was a lay minister for a while, and as the church could not afford to get a full time pastor, I was …

unfaithful pastor 
this is kind of embarrassing but i have just found out that my senior pastor has been sleeping with one of the girls on our praise and worship. his wife …

Musician sows discord 
A musician in our church sows discord within and out of the church against the pastor. She is very rebellious and mean we have prayed for her but it seems …

Afraid to take the jump. 
I've been a pastor for 25 years and now at 50 I don't want to pastor any more. I've been at my present position for 21 years. I love the people, but …

Past girl friends 
How do you handle the issue of your ex-girl friends, who knowing you are married now and a pastor but still want you. Other way round how do you deal with …

pastoral conflict 
In a church where the Senior Pastor has two assistants, Number One and Two. And the Senior Pastor feels that the Assistant No. 2, rather than the No. 1, …

an independent spirit 
I had a member in position to tell me that they are not happy with so many things in the church so they are taking the winter off. I don't know if I should …

Nothing Seems to work 
After an ugly marital fight, my marriage seems to be over. My wife moved out with my son and every effort to bring them back proved not to be working. …

I don't know how to resign 
My Wife and planted a church from ground up about 13 years ago. About two years ago another church in our city (who were without a pastor) merged with …

Physical Health and Pastor Burnout 
I am a first year MDiv student who is seeking to enter pastoral ministry upon graduation. For one of my classes, we have to write about how a problem of …

Family Conflict 
This is a very good place for people like me, looking for where to hide and share my ordeal with. Shortly after taking over as the senior pastor of …

Torn Apart 
I write this because I don't really know where else to go about all of this. I know that these stories are about men and women that have ministered in …

When the Shepherd is not allowed to lead 
I've been a Sr. Pastor of 2 small churches and associate pastor at two mega churches over the last 14 years. Deciding that I am better suited in the Sr. …

Position of Pastor 
I am struggling with Board members and some of their spouses believing that Deacons and Pastor are on the same level and that the office of Pastor is not …

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Wife's Depression 
I am a pastor of a large church in two locations. My wife has shared with me today that she is suffering from depression. She actively attends church, …

It is likely not you or you lack of ability, skill or dedication. 
I served for 14 years as a military chaplain. Before that I did not serve a church but was a hospital chaplain. I did not really know what it was like …

Deacon Issues 
The other night I was "given the riot act" by a deacon at our church (who has turned in her resignation) and I just feel personally attacked (probably …

Loyalty to Pastoral Staff as the Senior Pastor. 
As the Senior/Lead Pastor of a church I have multiple Pastoral Staff members under my leadership. One of those staff members has been a full-time Pastor …

Wife neglects, rejects all forms of any kind of intimacy.. 
My wife neglects me on a daily basis. I have fasted & prayed, talked with her, expressed my need for attention from her, pleaded with her to get counseling-told …

What now? 
Hi, It's my first time visiting this site and I've found it very encouraging that there is help online for people in ministry who need someone who understands. …

What is wrong with me? 
Almost after every time I preach, the next day or so, I feel so ... off. I battle depressive thoughts like "am I really supposed to be a pastor?", "that …

Little Pay / No Time Off / Constant Trouble!  
Right out of college I took an interim position at this little church in my home town. Their previous pastor was dying of cancer and so I took the position. …

Is having other people look up to you really a valid reason to stay in ordained ministry? 
I am a Minister of Word and Sacrament in a mainline Protestant congregation, and have thought often in recent months about leaving to pursue something …

Hopeless 
I am not a pastor, not anymore. I was "forced" out on leave after several panic attacks. I know it was what had to be done. I know I was beyond the …

Already Gone? 
I have been on leave from my pastorate since October 2010. I left because of a series of panic attacks, caused primarily by the stress that had built …

I am on the verge of walking away for good! 
I have been in the ministry for ten years. My wife will no longer attend our church with me and I am ready to walk away and just focus on being a husband …

I Am about to Quit! 
I was raised in the home of a Pastor. My dad has been very successful everywhere he has served. Although I knew somewhat about the hardships of ministry, …

Baby Funeral 
I have the miserable opportunity/obligation to perform the funeral for a three month old baby. I need help! Can anyone give me some direction?

I'm Lonely 
I'm finding that ministry is generally pursued in isolation. I have to admit that I do at times feel like I'm in competition with other area churches …

WHAT DO YOU DO IF A MEMBER OF YOUR CHURCH DOES NOT GREET YOU 
WHAT DO YOU DO IF A LADY MEMBER IN YOUR CHURCH DOES NOT GREET YOU, AVOIDS YOU AND YOU ARE THE PASTOR'S WIFE?

Health Problems coupled with burnout!! 
I pastor a church running about 100 - 125. It is a great church with great people!! However, I have some health problems that often times make me feel …

Pastor Bob  
I have worked 3 years to turn around the flagship church of our denomination. At 108 years old, the leaders wanted the change, but many of the people, …

Am I Wrong? 
I have a very small congregation that has taken me over the edge of burnout. These few people call me several times a day for no reason whatsoever, except …

Time Off 
I have been pastoring the same church for about six years. To date I have been given two weeks of vacation each year. I feel like I need more to help …

Handling Transitions 
After a decade of service to a church, God has called me to a church near my elderly parents. There's been a little tension in our current church over …

Emerging Church 
I am struggling to understand the Emerging Church. People in my church seem to know more than I do. I would appreciate any and all opinions and information …

Resist Temptation 
How do I go about resisting the temptation to an immoral affair? Her advances are so seductive and I find myself enjoying the feeling of being desired. …

Should I Leave My Church? 
I am discouraged, hurting, burned out, tired out, and stressed out. I am what this site talks about - pastor burnout. But even more than that, I am tempted …

Stage 1 burnout! 
I recently, (As of this morning after service) realized that I am in the early stages of burnout. I have traveled the globe evangelistically for over a …

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Losing my Faith (3) 
Well, this past board meeting... I announced that my wife and I will be leaving the church Jan 1st. I'll continue to oversee the youth on wednesdays and …

There is Proof of God in my Sexual Shame. 
I generally don't need proof of God's existence. My faith is strong, I don't need to pick apart the bible to find proof of his existence, I don't need …

Losing my Faith (2) 
Well, I'm still hanging in there (see previous post Losing my Faith). The church is still dry, so much to the point that my wife hasn't been to a Sunday …

I don't like the other co-pastor 
I am struggling with remaining in ministry because I don't like my fellow Co-Pastor. Can you give me some insight about how to work past dislike? Just …

Losing my Faith.... 
Call me "Jaycee"..(not my real name) Been pastoring youth for about 12 years now. Joined my current church a couple years ago. From the 'get go' I was …

Needing advice or suggestions 
I am a 32 year old Pastor serving in a 100+ member rural church. We have 4 Elders, 2 in their late 60's, 1 in his 70's, and 1 in his late 50's. Only 1 …

Overcoming Depression and Burnout 
Dear friends in Christ. I know that many of you reading this are pastors and at some point you have suffered from depression, exhaustion, and burnout. …

Solo Pastor Feel Like Single Parent 
My husband died and I took over as senior pastor. There's been a lot of good and positive things to happen in the ministry over the past few years: lives …

When people leave 
I've been in parish ministry for 30 plus years. It still drives me crazy when people stop coming or leave. How do you cope with this?

Is our burnout due to our organization? 
Jesus gave us an invitation in Matthew 11:28-30 that promises that His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Yet in our ministries we find that this statement …

Should Pastoral Ministry Be Treated As A Commodity? 
A former seminary professor of mine once stated: "Populism and Free Market Capitalism determine much of North American Christianity". He also stated …

Promotion or Disaster 
I need advice. My Pastor is retiring, the church elders has prayed for a long time for his replacement. To my surprise, his replacement is a woman …

A little encouragement 
Not a pastor and have a great deal of respect for those that are. Just wanted to share a thought with the hopes of encouraging some pastors that are going …

What do you think about ministry of Exchanged Life? 
Hello, I would like to know if anybody had experience with the ministry of Exchanged Life or know the main concept of it. Thanks

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Forum Conclusion

Thank you for taking the time to participate in this clergy forum. I believe that the more pastors communicate, the better we all will be. Your words are more encouraging than you may realize.

When you're finished with the pastors forum, you might want to also share your burnout story.

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