Pastor's Husband - ready to walk out

I'm so tired. I'm tired of being the last on her list. I'm tired of going to marriage counseling. I'm tired of the looks on my kids faces that know something isn't right.

Don't get me wrong she is a phenomenal pastor. I very much support her ministry. I respect her very much. I'm just done and don't know what to do. Should I just throw away decades of marriage?

My heart is so scarred. I just want to be wanted. I want to be loved like I love. I don't want to hurt.

Comments for Pastor's Husband - ready to walk out

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Marriage first
by: Anonymous

I am sorry you are going through this.
I am a pastor's wife, and I can understand.
We also just watched our senior pastor's marriage completely fall apart. My advice is: put the relationship first. Even if it means that she has to quit being a pastor for a while. Church jobs come and go, but you can't replace this relationship. Like you said, all the memories, all the history, the mother of your children. Be as brutally honest as you can - so she understands the gravity of the situation. Assure her that you believe in her calling but maybe for a season you guys need to renegotiate, make some change; you're struggling and something's gotta give.
Maybe it's best to start over somewhere else, maybe a parish that won't over-work her.
What are the things you used to like to do together? Even small stuff like a walk in the woods? Try to make time for things you both like, even in the midst of busy-ness.
Does she take a Sabbath rest from church work once a week?

Some thought
by: Anonymous

Maybe its time to consider taking a break, spending some time together as a family and deciding what is important in your lives.

Just from your message I can sense your brokeness and hurt but you know that Jesus came to heal the broken hearted. You are not alone, ask for some support, have godly people praying but above all else you and your wife need to spend some time together away from everything to take time to talk about the important things, your marriage, your future your family.

Really seek the Lord as to the steps you need to take at this time. Praying for healing and restoration in your marriage.

take a break
by: Anonymous

Time to talk to someone friend. Pastoral couples go through things that people will never understand. Last year I reached the point of burnout, and felt like giving up. I took a deliberate, unscheduled break, and contrary to what I thought the Church never fell to pieces. Trust your leaders and just take a break. Did me a world of good.

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