Ready to Run

by Elaine
(United States)

Where do I even start? Do I start with our first ministry as a married couple where I watched my husband cry for the first time because of the abuse of the Senior pastor? Or do I skip ahead to our second ministry where we went and found that the church was not all it was presented to be. We were only there a year because they closed the doors.

Maybe I should just stick to the situation at hand. We have been serving at our present church for 10 years. I long ago came to the conclusion I despised the term "preacher wife" because it was never said in a friendly or loving way. It was always negative and condescending. I learned early on that you need a shield to be a preachers wife because you never know what is going to be slung at you.

Currently, we are faced with asking a volunteer member and his wife to step down from their position. The group is failing and decreasing in numbers quickly. There have been some unbiblical teaching issues as well. It so happens that the wife of this couple has been a issues (for lack of a better term) in my life for awhile. She and her husband feel they should be the pastor and pastor's wife of the church. She has been caught speaking unkindly about me numerous times. I have confronted her and she apologizes but goes right back to doing it. She has warned people not to hug me, because I am uncomfortable with physical touch. She has taken ladies aside and told them not to befriend me, because I am incapable of friendship. She has spoken unkindly of my children to people in the church. And the list could go on. I have come to the point that I just avoid her. I refuse to pretend we are friends or even civil. I don't speak to her and she makes a show of trying to speak to me.

All that being said, the deacons feel that it is my fault because ignoring her is unchristian like. What about all the gossip and ill-will she has been spewing? Is that Christian like? Or is only the pastor's wife supposed to be Christian like?

I am done. I am ready to pack my bags and my 4 kids and go. I don't even care where. I am just done with church. I love the Lord but right now the last place I want to be is church. Our VBS is next week and I am the director. It will be hypocritical for me to stand before the those kids and tell them about Jesus and that they should come to church, when right now I don't want to be there.

I am stuck. Do I leave my husband or do I endure? I love him but feel like we are on two different sides of the battle. We didn't sleep in the same room last night because I wanted to think and be alone. Now he is angry and not speaking to me either.

I am desperately ready to run. Just where do I go?

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