Resist Temptation

How do I go about resisting the temptation to an immoral affair? Her advances are so seductive and I find myself enjoying the feeling of being desired. What should I do?

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Been there
by: Anonymous

I entered ministry as a middle-aged widower with teens at home. I enjoyed being included in events of the church's families and welcomed the new relationships.

Word came to me from a trusted member of the congregation that rumor around town was that I was not only 'seeing someone', but that the relationship had moved to intimacy levels and we were engaged! All of this was news to me.

I quickly tracked down the source and (no surprise) it was a woman in the congregation who had indeed invited my sons and I to dinner. We also visited regularly (she worked in the post office in that small town where there was no home delivery).

I immediately called my denominational ministry supervisor and informed him, called a meeting of my Staff Parish Committee and shared the rumor and my response with them and made sure my sons picked up the mail for the next three weeks.

There are guidelines for dating in ministry and how we might build personal relationships. Those of us who are single or have been are particularly vulnerable. Look for the guidelines suggested by your denomination and stick to them.

In this case you are not safe and this is not a good start to an honorable or lasting relationship. Clearly, you are going to have to keep your own boundaries as she is ignoring them.

By the way, I eventually did find a true helpmate.

by: Stanley O'John

When Joseph was faced with such situation, he fled and see what God made of him. When Reuben, David and Samson were faced with such situation they embraced it and suffered serious consequences. Don't think you are too charming because when the devil is through with you your case maybe too alarming (1Cor 6:18, 1Thess 5:22)

Filling the void of lonliness
by: Anonymous

I think if people are honest we've all had temptations in our mind. When it becomes sin is when we continue to play out the fantasy in our mind, over & over again. We have to train our minds to turn away from sin. There are things we can do to help us do this. Put on your favorite worship music. Keep it running constantly if you have to. Stay busy, or call another brother in Christ to have him pray over you. I had this temptation once with a complete stranger. I called a friend, we prayed, and I stayed away from that person. Months later I saw this person again walking at a mall, and the temptation was gone. I don't even know what I saw in this person. I was extremely lonely, and was in a vulnerable place. I was deceived by the devil that this person could fill my loneliness up with a night in the hay. I could see clearly though after several months, and praise be to God I did what the Bible says by fleeing. After you flee, and you don't see that person then your mind becomes more clear. Remember even Christ was tempted. It is not a sin to be tempted. There are times we all walk through the valley of loneliness. I talk to many hurting people who are married, and lonely. The only one who can fill up that void of loneliness is Jesus.

by: Anonymous

I just told the lady straight that God comes first in my life, I was tempted big time i wanted to sleep with her so bad i am 37 single never married no kids and very lonely and have a desire that burns inside me but i submit to God and wont give into the lust of the flesh. Cut the person off immedietely and honour the lord with your life this lady was not saved i am born again and the warning signs are all ringing i had to say no no no!!!!!!!!!!!!! its not worth it. I read proverbs 7 and 8 and my eyes were opened please read and take care brothers and sisters

I was the pastor's wife
by: Anonymous

I wish my husband ran... he is dead and I'm HIV positive. Run my brother. The advice given to you, please heed every word. This is a trap to bring down your ministry, your family, your integrity and your life. It truly is not worth it. It sounds like this woman is making you feel desired. If this is what you are lacking at home, share it with your wife. You may be surprised what she is experiencing. There is a quote that a man response not to how a woman looks but how she makes him feel in her presence. You need to share with your wife your needs. The fact you are reaching out is encouraging. You want to do what is right but it is a struggle. However the word of God states in 1 Cor. 10: 13 that God is faithful in keeping the temptation from becoming strong. It does not say we will not be tempted but it is a promise that God will help us to overcome and stand against it. So again run! There is a reason the word says to "flee". Hopefully by now you listened to the advice and all is well. This I pray for you.

Who do you want to glorify
by: Anonymous

Dear Brother,
Until I decided who I wanted to glorify in every aspect of life and living, I did not truly repent and turned from being a willing partner with my sin nature. You have heard all the disaster stories. You have read all the Scriptures concerning sin and the wages of sin. We all have. What has made the difference for me has been praying for the sin partner. Every time she/they come to mind, I stop and began to pray for them. I believe God knows ever action we will take before we do it. Praise God for grace and the Cross. The most important thing to God is what are you going to do now to glorify Him? When we truly are praying, the flesh is behind us and the spiritual connection is fresh, securing and stabilizing. If you cannot get there, I would suggest the problem is not your purity or temptation to sin. I suggest reviewing and reestablishing your personal relationship with God. When our first love relationship is secure, so will be our earthly. It took me 8 adulterous affairs, loss of wife and children, loss of ministry opportunities and all my financial accumulations before I was so broken to receive the counsel I have shared with you. I pray God's grace to sustain you and the glue of Jesus to hold your marriage and family while you transition to the next level of your love affair with God and His calling upon your life. It is time to get get excited, for your victory is at hand because this battle is the Lord's and you get to follow His lead!!! God bles you!!!

Ruining Your Life
by: Anonymous


Sexual immorality, infidelity, affairs, these things, will ruin your life, your wife, and your children, let alone your ministry. it will be scorched earth. I saw this so many times in ministry I can't even begin to tell you the damage this did. Ever seen a forest after a forest fire or pictures of Mt. St. Helen's after that volcano blew up? That will be your life.

Been there, done that
by: Anonymous

RUN ...

I have the shame of an affair attached to my life. All because of the very same reasons you espoused to. But listen to me brother, RUN. Do not allow yourself to be alone with this woman or any woman who is not your wife. You need to set up strict boundries. Always have others present. I have made it a rule in my life now to NEVER be alone with any woman who isn't my wife. And not to discourage you but in my personal experience with this very issue, this sin (even the thoughts are sinful) were a direct result of me NOT following the greatest commandment. Love the LORD your God with all of your heart, mind, soul and strength. My eyes were on what my flesh desired. Get your eyes back on the LORD brother. DO NOT DO THIS! You will be in a world of hurt if you do. No matter how your sinful mind tries to rationalize this, this sin destroys everything. Repent and seek refuge in the LORD right now. He holds out His hands. Do not try to fight this in your own strength. RUN FROM THIS SIN!!

Resist the a dress
by: Anonymous

The grass is never greener on the other side PLUS you have a GOD to glorify and to face. These seductive spirits have bodies they use in every congregation so I don't want to burst your bubble but - you are not that special :). You are simply a target for downfall and tragedy. Draw closer to your wife, spend more valuable time with her, talk to her even about things like this- as a scenario and ask her what would her reaction be? My brother ...and I hope you are male because these days you never know! - PLEASE keep your eyes on the prize which is your high calling in Christ Jesus and your Family. Be that example that your congregation is looking for...submit yourself to GOD, resist the devil ..that's who is using her...and he will flee.
God Bless!

Share with an accountability team
by: Amos

There are three sources of strength in community you may not have claimed.

1) Your wife is your helpmate and your other half. This is not an issue to keep from her but something that is a challenge to both of you. Hiding this from her is not a positive choice. In gentle ways, recruit her as your supporter rather than use her as your confessor or rely only upon her strength. This is what you would want to do for her if there was a man approaching her.

2) You need to have an open and trusting relationship with a group of respected leaders in your congregation. These are the men and women who are mature in faith and understand the challenges of ordinary living as well as have some insight into the difficulties of parish leadership. If you have this group in place as soon as possible you need to call them into your confidence as a group and share this situation with them. Your honesty and trust early in this experience will more likely reap benefits in the long run.

3) By the same token, there are likely senior pastors in your denomination or community who can come alongside you and your wife, offering support and perspective in this difficult time. If you are part of a connectional denomination the regional leader should have your back in times like this. Again, a quick and honest report of the challenge is better than hiding it or deferring, hoping it will go away or that you can handle it successfully and alone.

Your experience is, unfortunately, not rare.

Love your wife
by: Anonymous

As a pastor I know the temptations that will
lurk around the corner, several times I have had
women try to take me off course. The most important weapon is that your wife is the most beautiful lady in the world and no matter how beautiful and exciting the others may be, your covenant with your wife reflects your covenant you have with Jesus Christ. My dearest brother in no way do I bring comdemnation, but I do tell you sin will bring death.

resist temptation
by: Anonymous

You are special and desired - by your wife your family your children and the Lord... God bless you my brother... stay the course this is the ugly devil dressed up like the woman of your dreams... pray and rebuke her for her advancements... you are holy... and desired by God. I love you...

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