Torn Apart

by Sean

I write this because I don't really know where else to go about all of this. I know that these stories are about men and women that have ministered in church's, but I just feel that all those people may be able to help me.

My story is kind of weird. In my younger years, I really didn't attend church that much and eventually stopped. That went on for several years and nothing changed, that was until I became very ill. Once I became better after several months, I talked with some of my aunts and uncles that went to church and they ended up convincing me to go back to church. So I went for the first time and immediately the pastor wanted me to go on an upcoming mission trip with the church's youth. So I did.

Soon after that trip, I continued to try and get more involved in the church's youth and learn more about the bible and about God. The years went by and some more church trips until one day I felt a strange call from inside my heart. I found it strange at first and couldn't describe it. So again, I went back on a mission trip with my church and that's when I realized I wanted to be a pastor. But the part that has always conflicted in me is that I feel that I sin a lot, take the Lord's name in vain, and just do bad things. Even through all of that, I just feel that amazing call to serve God. So what should I do?

Comments for Torn Apart

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by: Anonymous

I can see how much you love God and want to serve Him but before you answer the call you should give it about ten years. I gave it six months and I have paid dearly for it. If God wants to use you He will use your life to train you for something in the future. For now, I would suggest that you enjoy a family and a career in the secular world. When your kids are grown and your marriage has been through enough ups and downs that it is really solid, I mean REALLY solid, then it might be a good idea to answer the call, but for now I suggest that you serve God by being good to kids and spouse and family and co-workers.

by: Moe

How much time are you spending alone with the Father on this? Only He knows if He is calling you into the ministry. Our ego needs for significance and appreciation can really confuse the call.

Remember, being a disciple (and pastors should be the primary disciples in the congregation) means being a follower of Jesus. Don't worry about leading. Draw closer into your Lord through prayer. He'll use your humble example to bless others, whether you're in the ordained ministry or not. May the Father bless you with patience, wisdom and peace.

Torn Apart
by: Liz Levesque

Dear Torn Apart,

You may not have the maturity and confidence to be a pastor right now. Just keep going to church and going on mission trips and growing in the Lord. Desire is one thing. "feeling" called is another. Having the maturity, physical stamina, seminary education, ability to carry debt, resolve numerous ongoing conflicts and prior pastoral experience is a must for anyone seeking to be a senior pastor or take on a new church. From where you are to pastoring is a whole other ball of wax. Pastoring is hard work. It is not for the faint of heart or timid or anyone who lacks confidence. You have to have the hide of an alligator to ward off the slings and arrows of your own congregation, extreme amount of personal integrity and honesty, large dose of personal humility. ability to laugh at all the stupid mistakes you will make, have "I'm sorry" on the tip of your tongue a million times a day, be prepared that everything that goes wrong will be laid across your back like a rod, have an iron clad mental and spiritual conviction concerning the Holy Scriptures that they are indeed the Word of God to fight off all the heretics and people who will be attacking you about them, have the stamina of a long distance runner for all the meetings and conflicts you will have to attend and resolve, keep your innocent heart of gold and not let it become cynical or hateful, make sure you love the Lord and hate money so you are not tempted by a huge salary and that you cannot be bribed under any circumstances, and develop quickly or already have innately the patience of Job to pastor. If you are so guilt ridden by little sins like cursing then how do you expect to pastor a whole church full of people with "big" sins? You may not be ready yet. Keep growing in the Lord and maturing.



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