unfaithful pastor

by Jack
(toronto)

this is kind of embarrassing but i have just found out that my senior pastor has been sleeping with one of the girls on our praise and worship. his wife usually travels every year to east Africa or Asia to run some of their projects there she usually stays away for 2-3 months but this time she has been away for 9 months.i have been his personal assistant before i became a pastor myself and still am his PA this is how i have been able to discover this affair because of his change in behavior, inconsistency in a lot of areas. My problem is because he is my superior i can't confront him but i know i need to help him out before it's too late can anyone please help, how to i handle this.

Comments for unfaithful pastor

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To unfaithful pastor
by: Anonymous

Unfaithful pastor should be removed from the pulpit and he shouldn't be allowed to preach and to do all things that a pastor should do. He should just be a christian and member of the church.

Unfaithful pastor
by: Anonymous

I have read the contents and though it is heartbreaking it has to be dealt with.
What i would suggest is: Pray before you confront..ask God for a discerning spirit and how to deal with the matter. The Holy Spirit will guide you.

We as congregants are place to under-gird the pastor and his family and truth be told we are held accountable for them.

When was the last time we seriously prayed and covered our leaders? Don't we realize that they come under attack? That the enemy looks for areas by which he can attack. If he can strike the shepherd then the sheep will have scattered. There is so much at risk and we could be armed and fighting the enemy together.

I challenge a team of intercessors to rise to the call of praying for pastors. Let us do it on the prayer watches and see what will happen

Talk to him
by: Stick to the Word

I would ask him first about things in a non threatening and neutral atmosphere. Come to him like a friend maybe over a coffee or a breakfast. Don't beat around the bush.

It seems speculative. Perhaps you need to confirm before telling superiors and he might be immediately repentant. Who knows...

Book
by: Anonymous

When/where can I get the book? I am a pastor trying to help another Pastor who has fallen into the same sin.

Unfaithful
by: Anonymous

I would not be too quick to cast judgements, there are deeper issues that are apparent. His marriage is in turmoil with the wife being gone so much. Missions are great but at what expense? The church, the pastor and his wife have allowed this situation to occur and the bible warns of this situation. We want to grade sin and we should not judge him because his sin is different than ours.

I reject the notion that he has lost his love for God. Did Paul love God less when He stated that what was right he did not do, but the the things that were wrong he found himself in continual sin. Having said that, the bible tells us on how to handle the situation. 1 Galatians 6 tells us how to address him. also you are to go to him alone and confront him and give him the opportunity to repent. If he repents then you love him and it ends there. Most important is that the marriage needs healing because it is broken and the root cause has to be dealt with for total healing. You have no idea the pain that he is suffering and wants to live a life to honor God, our call is to restore the man.

If he choose not to repent then there needs to be an intervention which my lead to his dismissal.
My prayer is for a healed marriage and that the two chose to be together rather than to try to heal the world while their world is falling apart.
She has to make a choice to repent also for putting her desires above he families, even if doing the right thing brings death to a marriage and ministry.

Unfaithful Pastor
by: Anonymous

Dear Jack:

This is serious. Go to the superior above the Senior Pastor and report what you know, and give him any evidence. otherwise it will be gossiping or hear say. Pray for your own protection. You will need it. Please DO NOT confront this pastor having this affair. You need to go to "his boss" and report it. Then let them investigate it. Cause you have no clout. You are an underling. That is how power structures work. If you attempt any other route you will be crucified or have your reputation ruined yourself. This senior pastor having the affair will do everything to discredit you. Prepare for a storm unlike anything you have ever been through. It could blow back on you. Prepare for that. Have your resume handy for another job. You will probably be looking for one. These situations absolutely split congregations. take care. Lizzy+

My Experince
by: Anonymous

Let me first say that I just found this site today, I was totally unaware of the fact that there was anything like this on the internet. Thank you for what you are doing here.

I am a former pastor, I have been in a far country, away from the Father for about 20 years. I am just now in the process of attempting to find my way back to the Father's house.

Like your senior pastor, that you apparently love very much, I had an affair with a woman in my congregation.

I can tell you from my experience, the man that is committing adultery is not the same man you have grown to love as your pastor. The man committing adultery has lost his love for God and all spiritual direction. He is not praying, reading the word, mediating or seeking God in any manner. The man you love is spiritually dead. Every day your pastor is simply going through the motions of ministry.....

There is nothing you can say at this point in his life that will change his mind about his sin.

It is just a matter of time before his entire life falls apart. Please do not feel like you are betraying your pastor by confronting him. Your obligation is to the church body.In all truthfulness, your pastor is expecting to be exposed.

After 20 years of wandering far from His presence, God with His unfathomable love and grace has touched my spirit and caused me to once again long for His fellowship and nearness. Even tho I have not walked in a church building for over 20 years, I have found myself hungry for God, I am back into the word and praying daily.

I pray that your pastor repents and finds the spiritual healing he so desperately needs. He has many dark and lonely days ahead, but my heart goes out more so to you and the congregation, you will suffer greatly because of your love for your leader.

I have written a book about pastoring, YOUR PASTOR NEEDS THIS BOOK, I attempt to identify several very common mistakes preachers make that make them vulnerable to temptation. I wrote this book from my heart, it is free to all preachers.

Truth in love is correct
by: Anonymous

Jack,
The previous comment is the exact way I'd handle it as well. Unfortunately the senior pastors faith and marriage has weakened and sometimes people need someone from the outside to bring them back. I know I did. At one point my faith had seriously faltered and I myself fell. However, with the help and support of a couple faithful christian friends I am back stronger than ever and my marriage is going very good. Be there for this person but remember you have an obligation to the church body and this must be made known to the church council. This persons life my be turned upside down but that is the price you pay when you play. Remember to always pray for guidance in your words and actions. May God be with you.

Speak Truth in Love
by: Anonymous

Jack,

I am proud of you for bringing this forward. Here is what I believe I would do in your situation (pray about it ... the Spirit may lead you to do something else):

First, pray for the Lord to take over this situation and give you enough love for the senior pastor that you will do what needs to be done.

Second, sit down and talk with the senior pastor about this. This affair must end immediately, and it is the senior's responsibility to end it right now. How the woman on the praise team reacts is completely unknown. She may go ballistic and make the affair known to all. Well, when you play with fire ...

Third, if the senior refuses to end the affair let him know that you have a responsibility to God, the congregation, and the senior's family to take this immediately to the president of the church board/council, and then the president will take it from there.

Even if the senior does end the affair today, this issue will need to come before the president and/or executive board at some point in the very near future. They have an oversight responsibility that must be engaged in such a serious issue as this.

If the senior accepts responsibility, ends the affair immediately, desires to go to counseling to reconcile his marriage, as well as getting back to a loving relationship with his Lord (There is no way you will have an affair if your relationship with Jesus is strong ... He won't let you!), then perhaps the board will decide that he will be able to return to the pulpit after some time away.

If he refuses this, the senior will need to be permanently removed from his position. The people must be able to trust the senior pastor without reservation. If his own wife can't trust him ...

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