What Can The Spouse Do?

by Kimberly N.
(Detroit, MI, USA)

From my experience I have seen the spouse of the pastor left not knowing what to do or where to go for help when their spouse experiences burnout. Whatever the stage or actions are during the burnout the effects left behind are sometimes lingering and deep rooted scars. What signs and resources are there for the spouse to detect the enemy in the camp? For me, it was the old saying that hind sight is 20/20. Today, I see the signs that were there. I have started a list and if you have other thoughts please share as I am working to build support groups in our local ministry for Pastors as well as their spouses to begin the discussion. Some of the these may be easier said than done but we must start somewhere.

1. Pray always for the Pastor, covering them all day

2. Break time- know/learn when it is time to come aside and take a vacation, two day get away, no cell phones, children, dog, etc.

3. Know yourself and your role. For me, I was just as involved as he was and that clouded my vision to see what was really going on. Somebody has to watch.

4. Listen and know your spouse - Listen to the signs that your spouse is saying. Both nonverbal and verbal. For me, my husband became mean and cold and I jumped on the defense and missed what was really being said.

5. Pray for wisdom -some things must play out but we have power to destroy the enemy. We just need to know how to do it.

6. Research sites like this one for strength to know that we are not in this alone (anther trick of the enemy).

**Please add more so that we can talk about it!! The enemy wants us to be quiet because of course he does not want healthy churches or whole people!

God Bless You!

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